I am halfway through the third week of my "Dream Month" (I don't want it to end!), and I've FINALLY started working on my novel. I have no regrets about how I've spent the last two and a half weeks. I've needed time to rest and recover from my former 9-to-5 life. I've needed time to work on this blog. I've needed time to go out and have fun in this city again (tour of the White House South Lawn, the Bluegrass Festival, embassy open houses, the Wonderland Ballroom Sundress Fest, etc.). I've needed time to cook. And I've needed time to veg on the couch and watch hours of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. I have no regrets.
But I finally started working on my book today. The book, for those who don't know, is the story of how Eric and I met while I was living in London. The book is a collection our emails, from the time we met in 2011, until I moved back to DC in 2012. It's a great will-they-or-won't-they love story. I think it could make a great novel. And I think it could also make a great movie (starring me as Leila, and, oh, Jake Gyllenhaal as Eric).
The book is already written. It's all there, in the emails. The problem is, there are A LOT of emails (ay caramba!). This is what I learned today when I sat down to copy-and-paste our emails from Gmail to a Word Document: we wrote over 450 emails to each other. We wrote a lot MORE than 450 emails. Gmail counts a single conversation of emails as one email. Some of those conversations contain over 10 emails between Eric and I! Some of those conversations contain only one single email. But still, that means that I have somewhere between 450 and 4500 emails to go through, edit, and turn into a book! Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
I am having doubts. I am scared. What if this never gets done? I mean, I really believe in this book, but I honestly can't see an end point.
Chapter One, for instance, covers the emails that Eric and I wrote to each other on Facebook when we first met. So these emails are from July 16, 2011, to July 28, 2011. That chapter is already 10,000 words long!!! Chapter Two, so far, covers our emails from July 29, 2011, to August 3, 2011. That chapter, so far, is OVER 21,000 WORDS LONG!!! And Eric and I wrote to each other up until I moved to DC in October 2012. Now try doing the math!!! Gah!!!
So I'm kind of freaking out. It's just that I've been planning to write this book for years. I know it's my destiny to write this book. I know it's a great story. And I know that, one day, after it's all been written and published, I know that it's going to give hope and joy to girls just like me - strange and frumpy girls, girls who thought they'd never find a loving and caring relationship. This book will be for all those girls who always fell for their best guy friends, only to be told, "I just don't think of you like that." This book will be for all those girls who never felt girlie enough or pretty enough to find love. I'm writing the kind of book that I needed to read in my twenties. That's who I'm writing this book for me. I'm writing it for me and for anyone who thought they'd never find love.
I guess I just have to accept that this is going to take a LONG time. And I guess I'm ok with that. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
I'm also writing this book as a memento of my time in London. I lived in London from 2010 to 2012, and I still think about it and miss it every day. It's a magical city, in a beautiful country. And those two years changed me in such a profound and beautiful way. It feels like I became an adult in London. I learned how to be alone. I learned to LOVE being alone. I learned that I am my favorite company. Even on a Friday night, I could go to the theatre or the pub with friends, or I could go home alone with an Indian take-away dinner, and either way, I was perfectly happy. Yes, I met and fell in love with Eric while living in London, but I didn't end-up with him until I learned that I was completely happy ending up with myself. And that's the truth.
And that's the story I want to tell. But, oh Nelly, it's going to take a long time to tell that story. But I'll get there. One bite at a time.
Once again, I'm ending with a picture of the author. This picture was taken at my old job, in London, in 2012. I was the receptionist at the Rail Safety & Standards Board (RSSB). I wrote most of my emails to Eric while at this reception desk.
I miss that job! I miss the wonderful friends that I made at that job. But when I start to get too nostalgic for the past, I need to remember that my present is rather perfect. I am living my "Dream Month." I am living like a full-time writer in Washington, DC. I live in the neighborhood that I love, surrounded by the people I love. I miss London. But I know that I'm exactly where I need to be.
And speaking of a perfect present, Eric has just come home from work, and I need to prepare dinner. I'm making us chicken parmesan, but on a bed of broccoli instead of spaghetti (we're trying to cut-down on the starches). This girl is hungry and ready for dinner!
Sweet dreams to all of you, my friends!
~Leila
P.S. Be sure to catch all 10 episodes of the Sherman House Webisodes at www.shwebisodes.com!
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