My Month of Zen - Part 1 (Starting to Say Goodbye to Jon Stewart)

Dear friends,

Wow! I MISSED THIS!!! I can feel my heart start to leap with excitement as I type these words. I missed my blog! I missed having this time to be with my thoughts and feelings! I forgot how much I loved this!

To catch you up on the past year (and to make a long story short), I now work at American University. I have a lovely admin job in AU's School of Communication (SOC), which is where I received my master's in 2010. I love being back at SOC. I love working in academia. I have put my creative endeavors on hold, but I'm starting to return to those as well. It's nice to have a full-time job again and not be worried about paying my bills. I'm not making great money, but the benefits are fantastic, and I'm making enough to live on (and pay my student debt), so I couldn't ask for anything more.

What inspired me to finally login to my old blog, after all of this time? This man.

Jon Stewart. A defining character in my life. I wanted to write a blog about Jon Stewart to say thank you...and goodbye.

In February 2015, Jon Stewart announced that he would be stepping down as host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show. I cried. Remember when Michael Scott learned that Toby had returned to Dunder Mifflin in The Office? That was my reaction. Punched in the gut. Knocked the wind out of me. So sad.

I was sad because, like many people of my very specific age range (too old to be a Millennial, too young to be Gen-X), Jon came around at a very formative time in my life. I went to college in 1999.  Jon Stewart took over The Daily Show in 1999. His show played in almost every dorm room at DePauw University from 1999 to 2003.

Jon won me over with his coverage of the 2000 Presidential Election. Like most of my friends in 2000, I wanted Ralph Nader to win and thought Al Gore was a bore (I hadn't even contemplated the idea that W. Bush would win). But, boy, did we all have a wake-up call the day after election night WHEN NO ONE HAD WON! And Jon Stewart nailed it!

"You know, guys, when we decided to call this thing Indecision 2000, we didn't think you would take us literally!"

I processed that insane election through the lens of Jon Stewart. I saw the absolute absurdity of it all because of Jon Stewart. And Jon has been a part of my life ever since.

Right now, the Comedy Central website is airing every single Jon Stewart episode of The Daily Show, from 1999 through the present day. It's call YOUR MONTH OF ZEN. And I am watching it every single free second that I get!!!

I am essentially re-living the last 16 years of my life. And it was the best of times; it was the worst of times. While I watch these episodes, I remember exactly what was happening in my own personal life. But I also remember what was happening in the world. And some terrifying things have happened in the past 16 years.

September 11, 2001:

Watching the episodes from 1999, 2000, and first half of 2001, The Daily Show is a goofy comedy, full of Bill Clinton sex jokes and superficial celebrity interviews. And I understand that. I relate to that. I was a college teenager during those years. My world was also full of crude jokes and celebrity news. That's exactly who I was, too.

But as I watch episode after episode from 2001, all I can think is, "I know what's coming." As I watch the episodes from 2001, and all the jokes about President Bush taking a month-long vacation at his Crawford ranch, I know that September 11th is going to happen. And I don't want to re-live those episodes.

Click here to watch Jon Stewart's monologue after 9/11. 

I can't watch that footage of Jon Stewart's monologue after 9/11 without crying. I remember watching that episode from a friend's dorm room. Jon Stewart articulated what we all felt. Jon Stewart got us through 9/11, and that is no small ordeal.

The Iraq War:

Starting in 2002, the Bush Administration started making their case for an invasion of Iraq. To make a long story short, The Daily Show was the only media outlet to question the Bush Administration's claims of weapons of mass destruction and a connection between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda.

Legendary journalist Bill Moyers reported extensively about the Bush Administration's use of propaganda in the lead-up to the invasion of the Iraq, and the media's unwillingness to question the propaganda. I advise everyone to watch Bill Moyers Journal: Buying The War.

Bill Moyers also reported on the brilliance and subversiveness of The Daily Show to question the Bush Administration at a time when people and news outlets were being calling un-American and un-patriotic for not supporting the invasion of Iraq. Click here to watch Bill Moyers' Interview with Jon Stewart.

My memories of the 2000 Presidential Election, September 11th, the War on Terror, the War in Iraq, and Hurricane Katrina are all associated with The Daily Show. Jon Stewart was a part of all of those moments for me. He helped me through all of those horrific events. He really did.

Right now, as I type this, Your Month of Zen is currently airing episodes of The Daily Show from March 2008. Great things (mainly, the election of the first African-American President, Barack Obama) are just around the corner. But more traumatic things (mainly, the collapse of the economy) are also around the corner. But I will write more about that in My Month of Zen - Part 2.

Jon, I miss you already. But I know that you will continue to be a part of my life for many years to come. Thank for getting me through it all. That's it - just thanks for getting me through it all.

Your biggest fan,
Leila

The Best Day Of My Life!

Dear friends,

Three AMAZING things happened yesterday!!!! Gah!!!!! Easily, the best day of my life (or, at least, of 2014). And here they are, in no particular order.


1. The 9th season of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is now available to stream on Netflix!!!!!

No, you don't realize how monumental this is! My fella introduced me to this show last year. I had heard of it, but really didn't have any interested in watching it until Eric assured me how much I would love it. And I did! And in a matter of weeks, we consumed all 8 seasons. And since then, I've managed to live my life for the past YEAR without knowing how the final season plays out. I've managed to avoid all reviews of the show. I still don't know how the show ends! That's how good I've been at screening out any spoilers from my life. But now it's here, it's here, it's here!!! And I FINALLY get to learn how Ted meets their mother!!! Gahhhhh!!!!!!!!


2. I had a phone interview with someone in the HR department of AMERICAN UNIVERSITY!!!

As many of you know, I have been dreaming of a job at AU for quite some time now. As much as I've been loving the "freelance writer" lifestyle, I've actually gone broke. True story. I can pay rent on October 1st, and that's it! So I've been applying for admin jobs since June. But earlier this month, I learned that the School of Communication was looking for an administrative assistant position in the Graduate Student department. Well, I have BEEN a graduate student in the School of Communication, and I have BEEN an administrative assistant (many times), so I immediately KNEW that this was my job. I submitted my application as soon as the job was posted. And I have been picturing my life there ever since.

Look, I know that no job will ever be perfect. Just like no relationship will ever be perfect. And no home will ever be perfect. But I will bring my best self to that office every day. And I will finally be able to return to a regular income (because worrying about money every day is not fun, I have learned). So I will have an income. I will have routine. And I will be working for an organization that I truly care about and that I would like to see myself at for the long run. I have another interview next week, then we'll see how life progresses from there.


3. And finally, the BIGGEST news story of the day. ELIZABETH GILBERT retweeted my blogpost on TWITTER!!!! Gah!!!!!!

This (above) is what it looks like when Elizabeth Gilbert retweets your blogpost (my heart, be still).

I don't know if you read it or not, but two days ago, I wrote a blogpost all about my experience at Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend. And then I posted the link to my blog onto Twitter (as I do). And I also tagged Oprah, Elizabeth Gilbert, Iyanla Vanzant, and Rob Bell in my Tweet, because I had mentioned all of them in the blogpost (especially Elizabeth, I went on and on and on and on about my girl Liz!). 

Well, my girl, Elizabeth Gilbert, then retweeted the link to my blogpost! And then two other people retweeted it! And nine people "favorited" it! I normally get one or two hits a day on this blog. Yesterday alone, I got over 120 hits!!!

Can you read the image above? It's a screen shot of my stats. At the time I took this screen shot, 151 people had read (or at least clicked on) my blogpost about my Oprah experience.

But even more importantly to me, Elizabeth Gilbert actually read something that I wrote! She read my words. She read my soul! Agh, it's just too much to handle!!!

So here's what I have to do now. I have to keep writing. I have to publish my book. Liz Gilbert asked me to publish my female hero's journey story. I must do this! And I must dedicate it to her. The signs are everywhere.

Maybe it's because of my experience this weekend, maybe it's not. But right now, I am TRULY living the life that I want!!! May you ALL live the life that you want.

Much love,
Leila

P.S. Want to watch a web series that I starred in? For free? All 10 episodes of The Sherman House Webisodes are free to stream at www.shwebisodes.com.

(My) Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend

Dear friends,

It was extraordinary! On Friday and Saturday (Sept. 19th and 20th, 2014), I joined Oprah Winfrey and her "trailblazers" for OPRAH'S THE LIFE YOU WANT WEEKEND.

The Verizon Center doors opened at 10:00 AM on Friday. We weren't allowed to take our seats in the arena until 5:30 PM, so most of the day was spent touring the two floors of "O-Town." All around the circumference of the arena, that various corporate sponsors had set-up booths and exhibits. Ikea was holding little talks on home design, and Toyota was letting people take pictures inside of the Rav4. Oil of Olay and Tide were handing out free samples. And everyone was encouraging us to post photos to Facebook and Twitter. I got a picture with a cardboard cut-out of Oprah.

For me, the most exciting part of O-Town was the "O Magazine Lounge." The line to get into the lounge took about on hour, but once inside, I got to meet the one and only (and co-host of CBS This Morning) GAYLE KING!!! Yup, I met Oprah's best friend in the world! And she was kind, open, friendly, and so talkative with everyone who came by. I am a BIG fan of Gayle King.

Finally, it was 5:30 PM, and we could finally take our seats in the arena. Music played (mostly Michael Jackson, Chaka Khan, Whitney Houston, etc.) while audience members' Tweets and Instagrams appeared on the large screens. Then a DJ appeared on stage, encouraging everyone to get up and dance. I didn't stand-up until I saw IYANLA VANZANT start to walk through the audience, encouraging people to stand-up and dance. So I stood-up and danced. The camera people started picking people out from the audience and showing them in the big screen. At one point, the camera was on me!!! I screamed and danced a little harder! The DJ, camera people, and Iyanla all did a pretty great job of pumping us up for the show.

And then we heard her voice. THE VOICE. The lights dimmed, everyone's "Life You Want" bracelets started to glow, and we heard Oprah say, "We are all stars." She spoke about all of our atoms being forged in the hearts of stars and the connectedness of us all. There was a short video introductory video, basically giving people an introduction to Oprah and her work. And then, finally, she appeared!!!!

For 90 minutes, Oprah Winfrey shared her life-story and life-lessons with the audience. We learned that she was conceived under an oak tree, by two teenagers who were only together that one time. She never had a stable family life, living with her grandmother until she was 6 years old, then living with her mother until she was 14 years old, then moving into her father's household after that. Though she had a tragic and traumatizing childhood, she was always a bright girl and a gifted speaker.

She skipped kindergarten because she could read the Bible when her classmates were still playing with block letters. She memorized the poem INVICTUS (by William Ernest Henley) when she was only 8 years old. She won a beauty pageant at the age of 16 and told the judges that she wanted to be a broadcast journalist when she grew-up (she said that because she had just seen Barbara Walters on TV the night before, and all the other girls in the pageant already said "nurse" or "teacher," so she just spouted out the words "broadcast journalist").

This beauty pageant led to a job reading the news at a radio station station. That led to a job reading the news on TV. That led to a job as a morning show host. And that eventually led to the national Oprah Winfrey Show. Then came O Magazine. Then came OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. And here we are today.

Oprah shared her life-story to make a point about listening to the whispers of the universe. The universe is giving you hints and messages all the time. If we listen to these whispers, an extraordinary life can be laid before us. If we ignore the whispers (out of fear, stubbornness, laziness, etc.), then the universe will throw a pebble at us. Then a rock. Then a brick. And eventually, if we keep ignoring the signs, we eventually slam into a brick wall because, for some of us, that's the only way we'll stop and listen.

So take the time for daily silence, quiet, peace. Call it prayer, call it meditation, maybe it's during exercise, maybe it's during cooking. But you must take the time for undisturbed quiet every day, and the whispers of the universe will come in loud and clear. Don't wait until you're slammed into a brick wall. The answers are there.

DAY TWO 

All of that took place on Friday night. But Saturday was an all-day workshop with Oprah and her trailblazers, from 9:00 AM until 6:00 PM. 

After Oprah's introductory remarks, she introduced the first speaker of the day, Mark Nepo. Mark guided the audience through a morning meditation, to bring everyone into a space of gratitude and presence.

He was lovely, but the next speaker was THE ONE I had come to see. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Eat, Pray, Love author ELIZABETH GILBERT!!!!!

She is my girl!!! Love you, Liz!!! Liz started by speaking about her own "brick wall" that she hit at around the age of 30. Before that, she was living the life that she thought she was supposed to live. She was married, had a house, had a great writing career. She said, "Everything was going perfect, until I realized everything was wrong." It took a massive breakdown (accompanied by "the brick wall"'s best friend, depression and anxiety) for Liz to completely change her life. And the only way that she was able to transition from her old (known) life into her new (unknown) life, was by going on her own mythic hero's quest.

Liz spoke about the revered academic Joseph Campbell, and his work in distilling the single, universal, mythic hero's journey. She said that all hero's journey's, all over the world, follow the same formula:

1. There is a call for a quest, and the hero is reluctant to embark on the quest.

2. But the hero agrees and crosses the threshold into the quest, into the unknown.

3. There is a road of trials. Some characters will help the hero, some characters will deceive the hero.

4. In the darkest night, the hero will be completely lost and lose all hope.

5. But finally, there is an epic battle, the hero faces his greatest fear/foe, and after losing the fear, the hero emerges triumphant.

But the problem with the hero's journey, Liz noted, is that it's always a man's journey. Women may be important characters in the stories (they are the wise old woman, the virgin who needs to be rescued, the mother, etc.), but a woman is never the hero. Joseph Campbell said that this was because women are never broken. They already know their journey. They are perfectly content in their roles as wives and mothers. They don't need to be healed by a hero's journey.

But Liz wants to see more women embark on their own hero's journey. If you're not living the life that you want, go on a hero's journey, battle your demons, and return triumphant!

Before her talk was over, I had already Tweeted Elizabeth Gilbert and promised that I would write and publish my own female hero's journey. She replied, "Do it, do it, do it!!!" Thank you, Liz. I will :-) 

There were other beautifully-inspiring speaker.s Rob Bell spoke about the miraculousness of the every day. He said, "Despair is the belief that tomorrow will be just like today. And next time you feel despair, stop and realize that the life you have is miraculous and it counts." His was a message of gratitude. We need to be grateful for the life that was have today. And we must be grateful for the failures, losses, and pain that change us the most. Without them, we never change. You can't have the life that you want if you're not grateful for the life that you have right now.

And then came Iyanla Vanzant. Woo, did the audience cheer for her!!! People cheered louder for her than for Oprah!

People love Iyanla! She spoke of the labor pains of giving birth to the life you want. Facing fears, facing demons, making changes, being alone, all of that can be scary and painful. But it is necessary to get to the next level, to get to the life you want. Don't be afriad of the labor pains.

Iyanla said, "Sometimes we try to squeeze ourselves into situations that aren't right for us." And the universe will scream to you, loud and clear, that that's the wrong situation to be in. Her final words of wisdom were, "Don't aim for perfect. Aim to be authentic."

Between speakers, Oprah would guide the audience through various workbook activities, to help us start to articulate the life that we want (and the steps necessary to get there). There was also a quick workout called "Soul 15" to get our hearts pumping in the late afternoon. Oprah (and Toyota) also donated money to a local charity that helps homeless female veterans and their families.

And then it was over. I have to admit, I didn't feel any different that first day. Honestly, I was exhausted, and I had a headache from all of the loud music and screaming audience members. I took four Ibuprofen as soon as I got home to help take the headache away. I was tired and dehydrated and just wanted to go to sleep.

But the next day, something magical happened. Once I actually started to talk to my friends about the Oprah experience, it all started to sink in. On Sunday night, I met up with four girlfriends for a little wine, a little chocolate, and a little girl talk. I took my program from the Oprah weekend, just in case anyone wanted to ask me about it. And it turned out, everyone wanted to know about this experience, and we all went through the workbook together and did these (very personal) spiritual exercises together. We all got to know each other on a much deeper level, and we were all able to articulate a clearer description of the life we all wanted. It was a hugely profound night!

I learned a life-changing lesson that night. The more vulnerable and honest we are with ourselves and each other, the more rich and beautiful life can be. I would like my life to be filled with more nights like that.

And so, my friends, that was my experience at Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend. It has left a mark on me. And as a result, I am even more committed to co-creating the life I want. Because "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."

Turning It Around

Dear friends,

Summer is finally ending. Things are coming to an end. But new things are beginning, too.

Last week was full of goodbyes. Robin Williams committed suicide. So heart-breaking. Really knocked the wind out of me. Turned out, he had the beginning of Parkinson's disease. He didn't want to live with it. So he hung himself. So sad. He was the same age as my mom. I cried. I watched Hook and The Birdcage on Netflix.  I didn't know how else to mourn.

While I was crying about Robin Williams, I learned from Facebook that a former AU professor of mine, Prof. Dotty Lynch, had died from melanoma at the age of 69. Here is her obituary in The New York Times, Dotty Lynch, pollster who saw the gender gap, is dead at 69.

Just such a sad week. A former classmate of mine asked me if I wanted to attend Dotty's funeral with her. I said yes. I was grateful that I had the opportunity to attend the funeral. I honestly felt like I needed a funeral. I needed a space and a time to cry with others. To cry about Dotty, Robin Williams, my dad's stroke, my mom's depression, my airplane trauma, my friends' heartbreaks this summer, the shooting in Ferguson, the wars in Gaza and Syria, the plane shot down in the Ukraine, etc, etc, etc. It felt like there was a lot to cry about, a lot to mourn. So I went to Dotty's funeral. And I cried. And I really do think I said goodbye to the summer. Goodbye to the traumas. It was all over. It was time for a new season to begin.

And it feels like a new season is beginning. I love being a freelance writer, but I don't want to worry about money anymore, so I have started to apply for admin jobs again. I applied for three part-time admin jobs at American University. I'm really hoping to get an interview any day now (crossing fingers).

This is what I want. I want to work three days a week as an admin at American University. Then I want to have two other days a week to work on creative projects, freelance projects, and writing projects. That is the life that I want. Do you hear that, Universe? That is the life that I want. I need more financial stability, but I don't want to go back to the 40-hour work week ever again. I'll miss the money, but it's a sacrifice work making. I have art that I want to make. Life is too short to spend it in an office for 40 hours a week.

Below is a picture of me, Ted, and Landon on the set of Church Night TV.

It was a great day. It was a long, hard, and exhausting day, but a great day. I will always want time in my life for things like Church Night TV, The Austin Movie Show, and my own novel. My novel. The thing that's going to make me rich. My great love story. I can't give up on it. It needs to be born into this world.

And speaking of that love story, here's a picture of me and Eric at Tara's fabulous birthday party.

A hard summer is coming to an end. But I am grateful. I am grateful that I am still here. I am grateful that I have this precious time to write in my blog. I am grateful for my friends, my family, and my adorable partner. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for my home. I have a fabulous, FABULOUS life. Even when life is traumatic, my life is still very, very fabulous.

Happy Friday, friends. And I wish you all fabulous lives.

Love,
Leila

July was a bitch

Dear friends,

I haven't written a new blog post in over a month (you may have noticed). And I'll tell you why. July was a bitch. And June sucked, too.

June was trauma-heavy (dad nearly dying from a stroke, me plunging 6,000 feet in an airplane, etc.). July was basically used to recover from June. July was also when I stopped enjoying my new freelance lifestyle because I realized that the money was drying-up faster than it was coming in. I was worrying about money, I was worrying about my family, and I was just basically worrying all the time. So July was a bitch.

But July forced me to deal with the residual stresses of June. I saw a therapist and went to a couple of group therapy sessions on how to deal and cope with anxiety. I started exercising more regularly (to relieve the anxiety). I started to cut out wheat and sugar (to relieve the anxiety). And I finally started meditating again (to relieve the anxiety). Meditation had once been a vital part of my life and well-being. And even though it took some trauma to get back into it, I'm happy that meditation is a part of my life again.

However, July wasn't all bad. In fact, July had some wonderful experiences that I hope blog about very shortly.

Eric took me to Bath, West Virginia, for a relaxing and romantic three-day weekend.

Then I was given the opportunity to write theatre reviews for the 2014 Capital Fringe Festival!

And I haven't even mentioned the life-affirming Dumpling Tour that we went on last Saturday!

I quickly mention these experiences to highlight how awesome July actually was (ok, I admit, the Dumpling Tour was August 2nd, but close enough to July). Mentally, I was dealing with some stress and anxiety, but I am proud of myself for dealing with it. I faced it head-on.

And life kept going. And the more I think about it, life was pretty fantastic. I mean, my dad didn't die of a stroke (he's doing great by the way, we even had our first phone conversation since the stroke a few days ago), and I didn't die in an airplane crash. I am healthy, I am not homeless, and I am still somehow managing to pay my bills (even though I haven't had a full-time job since April!). I have my family, I have my friends, and I have a lovely partner who looks out for me.

So I guess July wasn't so bad after all.

Keep looking on the bright side!

-Leila

P.S. www.shwebisodes.com

Queer Eye

Dear friends,

I am slowly recovering from the traumas of the last few weeks (i.e. my dad's stroke and my airplane that plummeted over 6,000 feet). But honestly, I am not the girl who started this blog two months ago. I have lost something. Optimism? Energy? Hope for the future? Maybe I simply have a case of the "blahs."

What have I done today, besides taking a shower, making my bed, and eating lunch? I have watched a good many episodes of Bravo's classic series Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Thank you, Netflix, for providing each and every episode of this comedy gem :-)

Carson, Ted, Jai, Kyan, Thom - if any of the FAB FIVE are reading this, I need your help. I realize that you don't do this show anymore. You taped your last inspiring makeover stories in 2006. I know you've all moved on, but can't we get the band together just one more time? Just for me? Your show premiered eleven years ago, and I think the world would go mad to see y'all work your fabulous magic just one more time. Because I desperately need some of that magic right now.

Remember what life was like when you guys were on the air, back in 2003 to 2007? Those were my Austin years. Those were my early twenties. Those were the years when I actually had the confidence to co-create and co-star in a local TV show. I was a DJ at two different radio stations. And I even worked on film and commercial sets. I was a media girl, and I was making all of my media dreams come true.

And so were you guys! You guys were some of the biggest TV stars of 2000's! Carson, you even starred in a Hillary Duff movie!!!

Despite the fact that these were the Dark Days of the Bush Administration, the Iraq War, and Hurricane Katrina, we still followed our dreams and made some entertaining art to lighten the darkness of the age.

But here I am now, in 2014, and I feel stuck in a rut. I want to make good art again. I want to create stories again. I want to work in broadcasting again. But I am stuck. I've lost my confidence.

When I started this blog two months ago, I really did think that I'd be a successful reporter, blogger, and writer, in no time. I thought I'd have this freelance-career-thing down by now. But I don't. I've only made a few hundred dollars since I left my full-time job (and most of that money was made as a temp receptionist, not as a writer). I'm really close to giving-up and going back to full-time admin work. It's a steady paycheck. It's secure. It's a routine. I can totally see the benefits.

But dear Queer Eye guys, I don't want to return to that life. I want to be a freelance writer and performer. I want to start making money from creative gigs (writing, production, etc.). I want someone to pay me to write articles about pop culture and politics. But I've lost my confidence.

So this is what I ask of you guys. Please give me the full-on FAB FIVE treatment. I've gained some weight in the past couple of years, and nothing seems to fit, so I need help finding professional-but-comfortable clothing (especially for these crazy-hot DC summers...it's so hot, I don't even want to go outside). I would like a haircut. I would like some help with my apartment (my boyfriend moved in a few months ago, and he's still not unpacked). I would love some help learning to cook delicious-yet-healthy food (for someone who needs to lose about 40 lbs.).

And finally, I would love some career advice. A little push (or "shoosh," as Carson would say) in any direction would be most helpful at this time.

But if nothing else, guys, thanks for making me laugh today. Queer Eye is still one of the funniest shows out there, and thanks to the power of Netflix, I hope that a brand new generation of kids gets the pleasure of discovering your show. It was not only incredibly entertaining, but it really seemed full of heart as well. You guys really did change lives. And it was (and still is) a pleasure to watch.

Your fan,
Leila

P.S. Hey FAB FIVERS, wanna watch a 10-part web series called The Sherman House Webisodes? It's pretty funny! Just click here to watch it all for free: www.shwebisodes.com.

Trauma

Dear friends,

Phew, it's been a hell of a couple of weeks (hence, no blog posts in over two weeks).

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, my dad had a stroke. So I flew down to Aguascalientes, Mexico to be with him. And the flight from Washington to Dallas was the worst flight of my life.

Oh June 15, 2014, I flew on American Airlines flight 1355 from Washington Dulles Airport to Dallas Ft. Worth Airport. The flight was scheduled to depart at 3:50 PM and land at 6:00 PM. About 10 or 15 minutes before landing, as I was watching the movie Hamlet 2 on my laptop, the airplane suddenly fell, very abruptly, to the left and forward. It felt like a free-fall. I don't know how much time passed (10 second, 30 second?), but most of the passengers started screaming.

The plane soon leveled off, and we restored normal flight. The worst  part is that the crew never told us what happened. No word from the flight attendants or pilots. Nothing. So I was left with the job of calming the passenger next to me, because the crew certainly didn't do their part to calm the passengers.

We soon landed at DFW, and I made my way to my next gate, where I was grateful to find a Bennigan's restaurant. I sat down and ordered a Long Island Iced Tea. I had an extremely friendly server named Adam. I told him about my horrific flight, and he was very comforting and sympathetic. He told me about his worst flight, but added that he was so drunk that he didn't care. He made me laugh and helped give me the courage to get on my next flight.

I texted my boyfriend, Eric, during my layover at Bennigan's, and told him about my ordeal. Eric looked-up my flight online and discovered that my flight dropped over 6,000 ft. in the span of a couple of minutes. Ugh.

But by the power of Long Island Iced Tea, I was able to get on my next flight to Aguascalientes. My little regional airplane shook the whole way, and I shook the whole way. But somehow I made it to my destination.

I had no time to process my terrifying flight ordeal. I was picked-up at the airport and immediately taken to the hospital where my dad was in the ICU. I was allowed into the room for a brief visit. My dad was mostly asleep, and he had the oxygen mask on, but he knew who I was. We said hello, and then I let him go back to sleep.

My dad improved the whole time I was in Mexico. I spent every day at the hospital and got 5, 6, or 7 hours of sleep every night. But there were reasons to celebrate every day. My dad walked a little more each day, and he spoke more each day, and he became more "himself" every day.

And in other good news, I was given the opportunity to reconnect with aunts, uncles, and cousins that I hadn't seen in over 10 years. Everyone was loving and supportive, and I promised all of them that I would do a better job of keeping in touch in the future. I promised to come back, and I promised to bring my boyfriend, too (who they all want to meet).

By the time I left, I knew my dad was going to recover fully. He just needs the time and space to heal.

And then I had to fly back. Ugh. I was not looking forward to getting back onto an airplane. But I had no choice. The only way home was on that airplane (and I really wanted to go home).

The Aguascalientes Airport is relatively small. There are only two gates and no bar (and I really needed a bar). But there was a little gift shop, and thankfully, that gift shop sold cans of beer. So I chugged two cans of beer before getting on that little regional airplane back to DFW. It was a shaky flight, and I shook with fear the whole flight, but there were no 6,000-foot-plunges this time.

Landed at DFW, found my next gate, and found a TGI Fridays near by. Once again, I consumed two Long Island Iced Teas before getting on my connecting flight.

And finally, a very scared, very shaky girl landed at Washington Dulles Airport at 12:40 AM on Sunday morning, June 22, 2014. And as soon as I saw Eric at baggage claim, the floodgates opened, and the tears that I had been holding back all week came flooding out.

I haven't been my usual self since getting back home four days ago. I had horrible nightmares on Sunday night (all airplane-related) that kept me up all night. Since then, I've been taking Benadryl to fall asleep at night.

I haven't worked on my book. I've barely left my house. I'm not very productive this week. But that's ok. I need to heal. This is my time to cry, to sleep, and to heal. I'm not just healing from my scary flight that plummeted 6,000 feet. I'm also healing from the sight of my dad in the ICU. He came back to us, but there were no guarantees that he would. It was an emotional week. I had to deal with a lot of family stuff that is very unpleasant to deal with. But I did it. I survived it all. I will heal from all of it. And I will move on.

Lots of love,
Leila

P.S. On a much happier note, why not watch some very happy Sherman House Webisodes at www.shwebisodes.com ?