Tuesday, September 23, 2014

(My) Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend

Dear friends,

It was extraordinary! On Friday and Saturday (Sept. 19th and 20th, 2014), I joined Oprah Winfrey and her "trailblazers" for OPRAH'S THE LIFE YOU WANT WEEKEND.


The Verizon Center doors opened at 10:00 AM on Friday. We weren't allowed to take our seats in the arena until 5:30 PM, so most of the day was spent touring the two floors of "O-Town." All around the circumference of the arena, that various corporate sponsors had set-up booths and exhibits. Ikea was holding little talks on home design, and Toyota was letting people take pictures inside of the Rav4. Oil of Olay and Tide were handing out free samples. And everyone was encouraging us to post photos to Facebook and Twitter. I got a picture with a cardboard cut-out of Oprah.


For me, the most exciting part of O-Town was the "O Magazine Lounge." The line to get into the lounge took about on hour, but once inside, I got to meet the one and only (and co-host of CBS This Morning) GAYLE KING!!! Yup, I met Oprah's best friend in the world! And she was kind, open, friendly, and so talkative with everyone who came by. I am a BIG fan of Gayle King.


Finally, it was 5:30 PM, and we could finally take our seats in the arena. Music played (mostly Michael Jackson, Chaka Khan, Whitney Houston, etc.) while audience members' Tweets and Instagrams appeared on the large screens. Then a DJ appeared on stage, encouraging everyone to get up and dance. I didn't stand-up until I saw IYANLA VANZANT start to walk through the audience, encouraging people to stand-up and dance. So I stood-up and danced. The camera people started picking people out from the audience and showing them in the big screen. At one point, the camera was on me!!! I screamed and danced a little harder! The DJ, camera people, and Iyanla all did a pretty great job of pumping us up for the show.

And then we heard her voice. THE VOICE. The lights dimmed, everyone's "Life You Want" bracelets started to glow, and we heard Oprah say, "We are all stars." She spoke about all of our atoms being forged in the hearts of stars and the connectedness of us all. There was a short video introductory video, basically giving people an introduction to Oprah and her work. And then, finally, she appeared!!!!


For 90 minutes, Oprah Winfrey shared her life-story and life-lessons with the audience. We learned that she was conceived under an oak tree, by two teenagers who were only together that one time. She never had a stable family life, living with her grandmother until she was 6 years old, then living with her mother until she was 14 years old, then moving into her father's household after that. Though she had a tragic and traumatizing childhood, she was always a bright girl and a gifted speaker.

She skipped kindergarten because she could read the Bible when her classmates were still playing with block letters. She memorized the poem INVICTUS (by William Ernest Henley) when she was only 8 years old. She won a beauty pageant at the age of 16 and told the judges that she wanted to be a broadcast journalist when she grew-up (she said that because she had just seen Barbara Walters on TV the night before, and all the other girls in the pageant already said "nurse" or "teacher," so she just spouted out the words "broadcast journalist").

This beauty pageant led to a job reading the news at a radio station station. That led to a job reading the news on TV. That led to a job as a morning show host. And that eventually led to the national Oprah Winfrey Show. Then came O Magazine. Then came OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. And here we are today.


Oprah shared her life-story to make a point about listening to the whispers of the universe. The universe is giving you hints and messages all the time. If we listen to these whispers, an extraordinary life can be laid before us. If we ignore the whispers (out of fear, stubbornness, laziness, etc.), then the universe will throw a pebble at us. Then a rock. Then a brick. And eventually, if we keep ignoring the signs, we eventually slam into a brick wall because, for some of us, that's the only way we'll stop and listen.

So take the time for daily silence, quiet, peace. Call it prayer, call it meditation, maybe it's during exercise, maybe it's during cooking. But you must take the time for undisturbed quiet every day, and the whispers of the universe will come in loud and clear. Don't wait until you're slammed into a brick wall. The answers are there.

DAY TWO 

All of that took place on Friday night. But Saturday was an all-day workshop with Oprah and her trailblazers, from 9:00 AM until 6:00 PM. 

After Oprah's introductory remarks, she introduced the first speaker of the day, Mark Nepo. Mark guided the audience through a morning meditation, to bring everyone into a space of gratitude and presence.

He was lovely, but the next speaker was THE ONE I had come to see. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Eat, Pray, Love author ELIZABETH GILBERT!!!!!


She is my girl!!! Love you, Liz!!! Liz started by speaking about her own "brick wall" that she hit at around the age of 30. Before that, she was living the life that she thought she was supposed to live. She was married, had a house, had a great writing career. She said, "Everything was going perfect, until I realized everything was wrong." It took a massive breakdown (accompanied by "the brick wall"'s best friend, depression and anxiety) for Liz to completely change her life. And the only way that she was able to transition from her old (known) life into her new (unknown) life, was by going on her own mythic hero's quest.

Liz spoke about the revered academic Joseph Campbell, and his work in distilling the single, universal, mythic hero's journey. She said that all hero's journey's, all over the world, follow the same formula:

1. There is a call for a quest, and the hero is reluctant to embark on the quest.

2. But the hero agrees and crosses the threshold into the quest, into the unknown.

3. There is a road of trials. Some characters will help the hero, some characters will deceive the hero.

4. In the darkest night, the hero will be completely lost and lose all hope.

5. But finally, there is an epic battle, the hero faces his greatest fear/foe, and after losing the fear, the hero emerges triumphant.


But the problem with the hero's journey, Liz noted, is that it's always a man's journey. Women may be important characters in the stories (they are the wise old woman, the virgin who needs to be rescued, the mother, etc.), but a woman is never the hero. Joseph Campbell said that this was because women are never broken. They already know their journey. They are perfectly content in their roles as wives and mothers. They don't need to be healed by a hero's journey.

But Liz wants to see more women embark on their own hero's journey. If you're not living the life that you want, go on a hero's journey, battle your demons, and return triumphant!


Before her talk was over, I had already Tweeted Elizabeth Gilbert and promised that I would write and publish my own female hero's journey. She replied, "Do it, do it, do it!!!" Thank you, Liz. I will :-) 

There were other beautifully-inspiring speaker.s Rob Bell spoke about the miraculousness of the every day. He said, "Despair is the belief that tomorrow will be just like today. And next time you feel despair, stop and realize that the life you have is miraculous and it counts." His was a message of gratitude. We need to be grateful for the life that was have today. And we must be grateful for the failures, losses, and pain that change us the most. Without them, we never change. You can't have the life that you want if you're not grateful for the life that you have right now.

And then came Iyanla Vanzant. Woo, did the audience cheer for her!!! People cheered louder for her than for Oprah!


People love Iyanla! She spoke of the labor pains of giving birth to the life you want. Facing fears, facing demons, making changes, being alone, all of that can be scary and painful. But it is necessary to get to the next level, to get to the life you want. Don't be afriad of the labor pains.

Iyanla said, "Sometimes we try to squeeze ourselves into situations that aren't right for us." And the universe will scream to you, loud and clear, that that's the wrong situation to be in. Her final words of wisdom were, "Don't aim for perfect. Aim to be authentic."


Between speakers, Oprah would guide the audience through various workbook activities, to help us start to articulate the life that we want (and the steps necessary to get there). There was also a quick workout called "Soul 15" to get our hearts pumping in the late afternoon. Oprah (and Toyota) also donated money to a local charity that helps homeless female veterans and their families.

And then it was over. I have to admit, I didn't feel any different that first day. Honestly, I was exhausted, and I had a headache from all of the loud music and screaming audience members. I took four Ibuprofen as soon as I got home to help take the headache away. I was tired and dehydrated and just wanted to go to sleep.

But the next day, something magical happened. Once I actually started to talk to my friends about the Oprah experience, it all started to sink in. On Sunday night, I met up with four girlfriends for a little wine, a little chocolate, and a little girl talk. I took my program from the Oprah weekend, just in case anyone wanted to ask me about it. And it turned out, everyone wanted to know about this experience, and we all went through the workbook together and did these (very personal) spiritual exercises together. We all got to know each other on a much deeper level, and we were all able to articulate a clearer description of the life we all wanted. It was a hugely profound night!

I learned a life-changing lesson that night. The more vulnerable and honest we are with ourselves and each other, the more rich and beautiful life can be. I would like my life to be filled with more nights like that.


And so, my friends, that was my experience at Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend. It has left a mark on me. And as a result, I am even more committed to co-creating the life I want. Because "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."

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