It is now Day Five of my new "Dream Month" as a freelance writer and journalist. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so lucky. So DAMN lucky. I have been showered with love and support from my friends and former colleagues.
I have been to my former office twice this week to have lunch with four different former colleagues. On Tuesday, one colleague took me to lunch at the Capitol City Brewing Company, and on Thursday, three other colleagues took me to lunch at Cuba Libre. And while all of these colleagues are responsible, practical, sensible, grown-up professionals, they all told me that they are happy for me, proud of me, and even though they'll miss me, they know I'll be a success no matter what I do. Thank you, all of you. And no, I don't think I'm meant to live the 9-to-5 office life, but that office job is what has financed this "Dream Month," so I thank all of them for making this life possible for me.
Yesterday was exciting because I visited the campus of American University for the first time in AGES! I attended AU from 2008 to 2010 and received my Masters' degree in International Media. So there was a reunion on campus for all former (and current) International Media and International Communication students. I had a blast! (photo below)
And once again, I was showered in complete support and encouragement. I told everyone, including a beloved former professor of mine, that I had just quit my office job and embarked on a new life as a full-time freelance writer and pop-culture journalist. And even my former professor told me that this was a wonderful idea, that it suited me perfectly, and that she completely believes in me and new-found career.
My friends and fellow alumni were also 100% supportive and full of encouragement for my new life and career. It was such a fun night, and I am so happy to have reconnected with so many wonderful friends.
<Sigh> I wish I could say the same about my family. Unfortunately, I have to keep this "Dream Month" a secret from them. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from my mother saying, "Your brother saw on Facebook that you're planning to quit your job. Well, you'll be hearing from your father." That was all it took. That mild scolding was all it took for me to decide that my family wasn't (and still isn't) ready to hear my truth.
And it's such a shame. Life is so precious, and any one of us could be gone in the blink of an eye. And I'd love for my parents and siblings to know that I've made a major life decision and am following my dreams and love my life for the first time in a long time. I'd love to call them every day and tell them every detail about my "Dream Month" and my freelance writing career.
But I can't. They would all be very disappointed in me, with a just a pinch of anger. They would call me irresponsible for quitting the best-paying job I've ever had. They don't care about my happiness or sanity. They really just want me to be financially-viable. And I understand where they're coming from. They want me to be financially-stable and plan for my retirement. I get it. They need to know that I will never be homeless and destitute. I completely understand that their "disappointment" or "anger" comes from a place of love.
We just have different world views. Their view is, "Get a stable job, buy a house, save for retirement, and live happily every after." But that's not what I want or believe. My view is, "Life is short. Life is magical. Make every day count. And bring into existence that artefact or story that is longing to be created and brought into this world." I won't change their world view, they won't change mine. I just want them to be happy for me. I AM HAPPY. I can't remember the last time I was this happy! I just wish I could share that with my family. <Sigh> One day. One day I won't have to hide anything from them.
I wish I had a photo of my entire family to share here, but we haven't taken a picture together since my sister's wedding in 2004. So here's a picture of my brother, my nephew, my dad, myself, and my mom on Christmas 2012.
I love my family dearly and hope that I can one day share all of my joys and successes (and even failures) with them. But I am still so grateful to have all of them in my life (including my sister, who isn't in this picture, unfortunately). I am who I am today because of each of them.
With much love and gratitude, I wish all of you a great fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend!
-Leila
P.S. All ten episodes (plus extra features!) of the Sherman House Webisodes are always available to stream for free at www.shwebisodes.com!
No comments:
Post a Comment