D.O.S.E.-ing My Brain With My Imagination

I have been working with Neal Phalora, The Brain Warrior, since June. Our conversations have been life-changing and life-affirming. He's helping me uncover my subconscious, limiting beliefs, and he's encouraging me to live my fullest, most authentic life. 

 

From day one, he has been teaching me to "D.O.S.E." my brain chemistry on a regular basis. "D.O.S.E.-ing" my brain chemistry means creating and releasing the following hormones into my brain:

D = Dopamine

O = Oxytocin

S = Serotonin

E = Epinephrine

How do you create and release your own dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and epinephrine into your own brain? Through the power of your very own imagination. By simply imagining you are somewhere wonderful, living your wildest fantasies. And you can't just see it. You have to feel it, smell it, taste it, and breathe in every last detail. 

Neal has me doing these meditations/visualizations every morning, every night, and even during my lunch break. And they are SO MUCH FUN!!! 

To keep myself accountable (at least for a week or so), I thought I would write down some of my visualizations. Writing helps me put words to my emotions. Writing helps me to take ideas from the abstract and make them concrete. So here are some of my visualizations. Here are some of my greatest dreams and ultimate fantasies.

  

One-Woman Show:

I am on stage in the Terrace Theater, on the third floor of the Kennedy Center (this is where I saw Janeane Garofalo perform stand-up comedy in 2019). It's an intimate space with only 487 seats, but it's a beautiful theater. The walls are wooden and curvy, and the chairs are comfy and purple. I'm performing my one-woman show. 

There's a big, Persian rug on stage and a microphone on a stand. I gesticulate a lot, so I often need the microphone on the stand so that I can wave my arms around frantically. But sometimes, I pick-up the microphone and walk around the stage. I'm wearing comfortable tennis shoes, stylish jeans, and a red blouse. Man, not to brag, but I look stunning! My head is shaved on one side, and my hair is long, brown, gray, and curly on the other side. I'm wearing hoop earrings (because, Selena). I'm telling stories about growing-up with an anxiety disorder. I'm talking about my fear of being kidnapped (because, the 80's). I'm talking about using alcohol to cope with these overpowering emotions. I talk about my other addictions - food, relationships, television, work. And I talk about clawing my way out, slowly and steadily, from a life of anxiety, depression, addiction, and obesity, to finally finding my true self and finding my voice. I am strong, healthy, energized, and excited, and I'm doing my favorite thing in the world - TELLING STORIES! And I'm freakin' getting paid for it. I have a tour! I get to perform this show all over the world! 

Published Author:

I am a speaker and panelist at the National Book Festival in Washington, DC. I'm participating in a panel discussion about self-help books and memoirs. The audience is asking great questions about their own struggles with mental health and addiction. I'm on the panel with Glennon Doyle and Elizabeth Gilbert, in the biggest hall of the Walter E. Washington Convention Center. I can't believe I'm sharing a stage with two of my biggest heroes and inspirations (unbeknownst to them). 

A woman in the audience asks all of three of us who our literary inspirations are/were, and I get to gush about how these ladies on stage with me are my heroes! I talk about my first (diagnosed) major depression in 2009, and how I read Eat, Pray, Love over and over and over again during those years. I talk about reading Untamed in 2019, after I got sober, and how it inspired me to be loud, proud, and live my life on full-blast. And I cry with gratitude that I get to share the stage with these women, who wrote books that changed the course of my life. Later that evening, I get to have dinner with these women and their partners (and my fella) at an elegant downtown DC restaurant. I eat the most heavenly, flaky, buttery fish I have ever eaten in my life! And I am having one of the BEST conversations I've ever had, about creativity, spirituality, and the meaning of life. It's the best day of my life. 

Living in London (at the Four Seasons):

I am staying at the 5-star Four Seasons Hotel London at Ten Trinity Square while I finish my next book. It's about the years I lived in London and everything I learned from that experience. This gorgeous hotel is right in the City, across the street from the Tower of London. It's just a 30-minute walk to The Harrow (my grandfather's family's pub). I'm also drawn to this very spot because of its history and its specific ties to Samuel Pepys (I inherited my grandfather's full collection of The Diary of Samuel Pepys). And have I mentioned how GORGEOUS this building is?!?! I am greeted at the front entrance by tall, regal columns.

Because this building was once the headquarters of the Port of London Authority, everything is grand and nautical-themed. Eric (my fella) and I are staying in the Grand Heritage Suite. I wake-up to the sounds of the bustling city below. I have breakfast brought up to the room. Breakfast consists of scrambled eggs, toast with butter and marmalade, sausages, a bowl of fresh fruit, a carafe of freshly-squeezed orange juice, and a big pot of proper English tea (with sugar and milk). We eat our breakfast and look out the window at the hubbub of the city and the Tower, while the BBC Breakfast Show plays on the TV in the background. We get in our exercise clothes and head down to the gym for a quick 45-minutes of cardio and weights. Then it's off to the pool for a few refreshing laps. Then we head back to the room to get showered and dressed for the day. 

I open my laptop on the dinning room table and pick-up writing right where I left off yesterday. I tell my stories of why I had always been in love with London and dreamed of living here. I talk about moving to London to get over a boy. I describe the luck of landing a full-time reception job at the Rail Safety & Standards Board (RSSB) and the life-long friends that I make at that office. I type and add photos, and type and add photos, and type and add some more photos. After several productive hours of work, it's time to close the computer, venture out into the beautiful city, and meet-up with old friends in Leicester Square.

Filming My Sit-Com:

I am living in Los Angeles, where Eric (my fella) and I are writing and producing our sit-com, based on our lives. I'm also acting in the sit-com. I play the role of "Leila," but Eric is played by Elijah Wood (Eric doesn't enjoy acting, so he hand-picked Elijah to play him). We have our own writing office on the Warner Bros. studio lot in Burbank, CA, and that's also where we're filming the sit-com. The name of the show is Leila. 

The script is based on the emails that Eric and I sent back and forth to each other the year we met. To play the part of 30-year-old Leila, I have to dye my hair red (with blond streaks) because that's what I looked like in 2011/2012, but it's a small price to pay to be able to write and star in my own sit-com based on my life. While we're filming season one, we are renting a gorgeous Beverly Hills bungalow and driving around the city in a Ford Mustang Convertible (because, when in Rome).  

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Anyway, you get the idea. I highly recommend that everyone takes some time in their day to imagine their dream life. You could be living it right now, for all I know. But give yourself to permission to daydream and fantasize. 

Quarantine time is the PERFECT time to start visualizing your dream life! I'm not comfortable going out into the physical world at this time, so I've had to go deep into my own mind and my own imagination, to find a sense of wonder and inspiration at this scary time. 

If you ever want to share your visualizations with me, I would LOVE to hear them! Take care, all. Stay safe. Look after your mental and physical health. And start daydreaming RIGHT NOW!